Before love arrives, balance must.
In Episode 9 of the Miracles Online Podcast, Jeff and KAT walk us through something most people skip: alignment before attachment. Not hustle. Not chasing. Not forcing outcomes. Alignment.
This episode opens with a grounding breath practice — what KAT calls “four square breathing” — designed to calm the nervous system and open the heart space
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. Because the heart, not the mind, is the magnet.
“Our thoughts are the antenna. Our heart is the magnet.”
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And that sets the tone for everything that follows.
Stop Chasing. Start Aligning.
If you are tired of the chase — online dating fatigue, emotional exhaustion, wondering if you’re “not enough” — this episode speaks directly to you
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Jeff breaks down a powerful truth: when you rigidly control how love must show up, you restrict what can come to you
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. If you narrow your criteria into a concrete box, you may be blocking the very partner who would elevate your life beyond what you imagined.
Divine partnership, as they describe it, is not aligned through hustle. It is aligned through resonance
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You don’t yell at a flower to bloom.
You nurture the soil
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Love works the same way.
Like Attracts Like — But Not the Way You Think
One of the central teachings in this episode is vibrational alignment.
The universe doesn’t respond to what you want — because want often comes from lack. It responds to what you are
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If you want a conscious partner…
Are you living consciously?
If you want emotional availability…
Are you emotionally available?
Jeff uses a frequency metaphor — 1000 hertz versus 999 hertz — to illustrate proximity of vibration
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. The closer your internal alignment, the closer the match.
This is not mystical fluff. It’s energetic congruence. When your values, your integrity, and your emotional state are stable, you naturally draw someone operating at a similar level.
Inner Work Is Romantic Preparation
Here’s the hard truth most dating advice skips:
Inner work is romantic prep
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Jeff shares vulnerably about his own breakthrough at a transformational workshop, where he uncovered a buried childhood fear of abandonment stemming from moving from Taiwan to the U.S. as a child
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That unhealed inner child was running subconscious scripts about not being wanted.
Until the dam broke.
Until the tears came.
Until clarity followed.
As they discuss, nearly 90% of our behavior is driven by subconscious programming
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. If you don’t rewrite those scripts, you will unconsciously recreate the same relational patterns.
You won’t attract something new.
You’ll attract something familiar.
Healing shifts your frequency.
Frequency shifts your outcomes.
Surrender Is Strength
One of the most powerful themes in this episode is surrender.
Jeff describes going to the beach and releasing his intention for a life partner to the universe — fully, without grasping
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. Not controlling. Not obsessing. Releasing.
And then?
Nothing happened immediately.
Five years passed before he met KAT
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But here’s the reframe that changes everything:
Patience is not punishment. It is preparation
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Love doesn’t arrive when you are desperate.
Love arrives when you are ready.
Negotiables and Non-Negotiables
Another powerful reminder from this episode is clarity around negotiables and non-negotiables
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KAT shares how something that could have been a dealbreaker — having more children — turned out to be a non-issue in their relationship
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Because alignment was deeper than circumstance.
When you know who you are, and you express that honestly, the right person recognizes themselves in your truth.
Authenticity is magnetic.
You Were Born Enough
This episode circles back to a foundational truth:
You were born enough
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Before culture.
Before conditioning.
Before heartbreak.
Before comparison.
Balance is not about becoming someone new.
It’s about removing what was never you.
And when you do that?
Love doesn’t need to be chased.
It recognizes you.
If you are considering jumping back online, updating a profile, or re-entering the dating world — pause first.
Breathe.
Heal.
Clarify.
Align.
Because the relationship you desire is waiting for the version of you that is balanced.
And that version of you is built from the inside out.
Website: https://www.miracles-online.com
Substack: https://miraclesonlinekatjeff.substack.com
Miracles Online Podcast
Relationships, dating, marriage, real love, emotional intimacy, Christmas, holiday relationships, Jeff and KAT
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